Are You There God? It's Me, Susan

A letter to the head of your faith (God, Allah, The Pope, The Universe)

You know what I hate discussing just as much as politics? Religion. I have faith. It is my own and I'm not really one to shout it from the mountain tops. I'm more of a silent worshiper of sorts. This letter is a difficult one to write for me. But, it's part of the challenge and I'm not backing down.

Dear God,

It's been a while since we've spoke. Or rather since I've poured out my heart from the discomfort of my knees, blubbering and crying about my trials in life. I can only pray the same prayer so many times. I guess I'm at a loss for words or thoughts. Actually, I find myself growing more and more confused with every prayer muttered. Sometimes it's best to step back and try to gain a different perspective which is what I've been trying to do.

I am appreciative for everything that I have in my life and for the prayers that I feel have been answered in the past. But, I can't help but question my beliefs. That's nothing new. You know me, I don't just believe things willy-nilly. I mean, when celebrity gossip is thrown around the Internet, I never believe it until TMZ has reported it. So you can imagine my apprehension on Sundays when Mark Mormon is preaching from the pulpit.

I haven't given up on my faith or beliefs entirely, but I got to tell you, there are days I struggle. I know, the devil and all that. Funny thing, when I lived in London, the church was not as accessible as here in the states. The wards I belonged to were not all that warm and inviting but I kept soldiering on. It would have been very easy to become inactive, but I wasn't willing. Now, the church is much more prominent and I find myself less than interested. Gosh, this makes me sound awful.

I like to think that this is just a phase in my life. A moment where I need to question everything and search for answers. There have been moments in my life where I felt I had an unwavering faith. Faith is a funny thing, amirite? It's like fog. It can be very thick and blinding. But then, it can also dissipate quite quickly before your eyes.

Thank you for my many blessings.

Susan "This Is Not A Cry For Help" B.